Friday, August 22, 2008

Worst. Shakespeare. Play. EVER.

I had always thought of this as "the ultimate date". Shakespeare, a picnic dinner, a bottle of wine, a beautiful view and an amazing woman with me. Perhaps it is best that it never came to fruition until I was with my wife. If my companion had been anyone lacking such a steadfast commitment, it might have been the "ultimate date" only in the sense of being "the last date".

The food was delicious, Kelly being a chef par excellence even under the challenges of the food having to survive travel in a cooler for 24 hours. The scenery was excellent. The wine was quite tasty. The woman by my side was amazing and beautiful.

The Shakespeare was awful.

When I had first heard of this many years ago, I imagined professional actors. When I saw the listing on the website, I still thought of semi-pro actors like the Dayton Theater Guild. When we arrived on the site, I was hoping for high school amateur. Even that was above the talent on exposition.

Twas a "Midsummer Night's Dream" turned into auditions for American Idol. Highly abridged by design... further abridged by missed lines. Moderately passable scenery of the mystical wood inhabited by less passable wooden acting.

The only point in its favor was that it was SO bad. Had it been slightly better, it would have been less enjoyable. It was like they expanded the subplot of the rough craftsmen of the town performing "Pyramus and Thisbe" into the whole play. Perhaps that was a mindblowing deliberate artistic recursive metaphor.... or perhaps it was just funny to watch a four year old faerie toddle across the stage wearing a winter coat.

Now the ultimate date will have to be redesigned. Any ideas from blogspace?

3 comments:

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

Hee. I once saw a terrible, terrible production of Mozart's "Magic Flute" with Kel and the Gang. (Heh.) It was a similar scenario to your dream date. Good friends, good food, good weather with an outdoor stage and show. And It. Was. Awful. Just awful. Awful singing, awful acting.

I have a vague memory of spitting gummy bears with your Dream Date. ;) I think it was a gummy bear spitting contest because we were so bored?

Other people in our party were more inclined to stick it out, but then Kelly and I got the giggles at a guy who fell asleep on a blanket nearby and started snoring and brought Gwen over to the Dark Side. When a very old guy in a leather gimp outfit came out (it was a post modern take and it was a member of the chorus), we collectively threw in the towel.

I would suggest, however, that you shouldn't necessarily give up your idea of the dream date. My six years with Stephen taught me that not all Shakepeare in the Park productions are created equal.

Unfortunately, my suggestions for best bets involve East Coast stages, but perhaps the travel portion of a trip to the Berkshires to see a production by Shakespeare and Company could be incorporated into the Dream Date? The Publick Theatre in Boston does a nice job, and the Shenandoah Shakespeare Company in Staunton, VA is top notch. You know, should you find yourself in Boston on a summer evening with Kelly, a bottle of wine, and nothing else to do. :) Don't give up the DREAM! ;)

Alissa said...

Lol. When I read this post it reminded me of that Magic Flute outing, also. I was waiting to post that story until inspiration struck me with a solution. But, alas, no inspiration and you beat me to the story. Perhaps the solution is just to steer clear of outdoor theater. It doesn't seem to bode well for a date with Kelly. :)

Chunky Photojournalist Barbie said...

I've been thinking about this "dream Date" question.

What about a sunrise hot air balloon over Napa with Kelly and mimosas? Or dinner in Manhattan followed by a romantic musical and brunch the next day with friends who just so happen to live 15 minutes north of Manhattan? Now I'm just being selfish. ;)

Although, dinner and a show in Manhattan followed by a hansom cab ride is a popular "dream date" scenario around here. Except there's been an awful lot of prostests lately over inhumane tratment of the horses. I'm... not helping. Shutting up!